My son has recently picked up the phrase, “It’s not fair!” Unfortunately, he hasn’t fully grasped the concept of fairness and tends to use the phrase for anything that he doesn’t like. It’s driving me a little batty.
After dinner, the kids are supposed to bring their dishes back to the kitchen. “It’s not fair!”
When the kids are allowed to watch TV, they have to agree on a show. “It’s not fair!”
When told to return his sister’s toy, which she was playing with first. “It’s not fair!”
Not being allowed to play with the iPad all day long. “It’s not fair!”
Bedtime. “It’s not fair!”
Put your seat belt on or we’re not going anywhere. “It’s not fair!”
Please take turns on the swing. “It’s not fair!”
You get the picture right? It’s getting a bit ridiculous. No matter how many times I try to explain what “fair” is, he just doesn’t get it. I’m open to suggestions, what would you do?
Dirty Rotten Parenting 
I have had so many different responses over the years, going through that stage with each of my kids. Until I read that, I didn’t realize I don’t hear it any more. hmmm. Guess they grew out of it? I’m going to share some of my responses over the years, some are quite childish, and some are funny, and some are probably what we ‘should’ say, but well, I don’t always do what I should when I’m tired or heard something for the zillionth time.
“Life isn’t fair – do it anyway”
“I never promised you a fair life, just a safe one”
“The train to fair town has left already, you are stuck here with me”
“you don’t have to like it, you just have to do it”
“your complaint has been heard and filed, please allow 7-10 days for processing. Until then, continue to do what your mommy has advised”
“It’s never fair – I have different rules for all of you because you are all different people”
“Fair has nothing to do with it”
I like it! I mostly go with, “life’s not fair, deal with it!”
My answer when I encounter this is to nod in gentle agreement, sympathetically say, “I know it’s not fair,” and go back to what I was doing. No engagement, no debate. Simply acknowledge their perspective and move on. I call it being passive-compassionate.
I’d go with it, but I just can’t make myself agree that something is not fair, when it really is fair.
You expect ME to come up with a solution?!? It’s not fair! MOOOOOM!
(Seriously, we have had this, and many other super annoying things. Right now we have, “WHY?”)
Oh, the dreaded “why!” We also have, “How do you know?”